Jump to content

Do or Die for the Strikers


Recommended Posts

CP -

Nial Davisson: Eight hours until the Durham Strikers season is on the line, the midfield chief Sean Keay is resting in a hot tub at the local fitness club and we just happened to get an interview with him

Nial Davisson: So Sean tonight we have a battle between the top team the Durham Emmetts and your second place Durham Strikers. What should we expect tonight from the strikers.

SeanKeay: Well Nial, i expect it to be a tough match. Last time we played the Emmetts we were missing two key players, myself being one of them. I figure if we can get stuck in hard and put the ball in the net. We should have no problem winning this match.

Nial Davisson: Are the rumors surrounding your binge drinking and partying with Celebs and thus hindering you durring the training sessions this week?

SeanKeay: Not at all, and i wouldnt call a 26er of wiskey and Linsday Lohan would be considered "binge drinking or hanging out with celebs". I think people just have to understand that I am a man, and have needs. Booze, Soccer and Lindsay Lohan. Plain and simple

Nial Davisson: Ok, well lets get back to the season at hand. You have had some trouble this year with the refs and your Jabbering all game. It has put you off your game for a while. Are we going to see a more composed Sean Keay?

SeanKeay: More Composed? WTF Are you saying Skid row is the same as Poison??? When you hear 18 and life, do you hear Bad to be Good? NO im Sabastian Bach for christ sakes!!!! I dont need this im on broadway!!!!!

Nial Davisson: WHAT THE HELL?? anyways, catch SeanKeay, Ryan Keay and Al tonight at the Durham Indoor Soccer Facility tonight @ 10. I will update you after the game.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh NO. In replying to this thread RealGooner you have now set the wheels in motion for it to spiral out of control into some kind of 18 reply 1200 click thread.

But aside from that, best of luck Sean Bach. Just don't hit the Stolichnaya too hard before the match. Save it for afterwards.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wait, do you now dress like this guy:


or this guy:


If it is the latter, does the leather jacket chafe during the match? And do you wear one of those thin black bands to keep your flowing locks out of your face?

Cuz if I were stikers coach, I'd grudgingly accept the jacket, but demand the hair band.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lohan Cries, Sean gets sent off

CP- In tonights match upbetween the Durham Emmetts and the Durham Strikers ended in dissapointment for one Sean Keay. At the end of the match Sean Keay was sent off for a foul which was deemed "flagrant". After the call, the fans chanted Seans name and Linsday Lohan showed Sean her Teet. After the game the referee had a stern talking to with his brother Ryan "Phil neville" Keay and over turned the red and gave sean a yellow. So he can play in the next game. Lindsay Lohan then proceeded to dump Sean because she only deals with Bad Boys and yellow cards just arnt enough. She was seen 30 min after the game in the back of a squad car in what looked like Office Al was driving.

Anyways durring the game, the Emmetts came on strong at the start and scored a quick goal. The quick goal shook up the Strikers and on the kickoff Sean booted the ball out of bounds. When asked about this after the game he said "I was to busy looking at the defencemens man boobs and completly forgot we were playing a game, like they were a serious D cup!" After that Sean became composed and took controll of the game setting up brother Ryan on the right side of thre 18 yard box (ok its like a 9 yard box) where he put the ball in the top corner. Then right after the Strikers got a free kick at half and some defender swung it into the box. The keeper was stunned by my good looks and pushed me out of the way, and some random striker put the ball in the back of the net 2-1 Strikers. Then Sean Blacked out and we forget the rest of the game. Except the red card which i got.

The end

Purple Monkey Dishwasher

Link to comment
Share on other sites



Noticeably absent from tonights lineup was Al and if anyone noticed, Linsday was not watching the game and missed Sean getting sent off as Al was giving Lindsay his own flagrant foul in the back of his wagon. As soon as Al was done he stepped out of the wagon and Neil Davidson had a few questions for the young star of the strikers.


Neil: How did it go in there?

Al: Great thanks, I was firing on all cylinders and it was really a gut check time in there...and incase you need to know...she doesnt have a gut...

Neil: You think this will affect your performance in tonights game?

Al: Tonights what?...Oh $&^%, I forgot about the game...I can't go tonight...Lindsay really wanted a top shelf perfomance tonight..at my age i only have so much stamina...

Neil: You hear that Sean got sent off?

Al: That doesn't surprise me...he might as well call himself Sean Avery...hes got about as many freinds as him...but maybe he has more talent..

Neil: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA good one!

Al: Yeah sorry Neil...i was trying to say that with a straight face ...I almost got it all out too!!



Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:Originally posted by SeanKeay

... When asked about this after the game he said "I was to busy looking at the defencemens man boobs and completly forgot we were playing a game, like they were a serious D cup!" ....

Losing 2-1 to a team with a player in possession of D cup man boobs is a really bad result. Hopefully this loss will be a character builder for the Strikers. If not, then Purple Monkey Dishwasher indeed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No need to apologise al. You can bring whomever you like, and, as much as Sean would want you to believe it, you don't have to share her with him. Hopefully she'll bring better luck to the Strikers then Lindsay did, well, better luck on the pitch at least.

Here's hoping a Blalock inspired Strikers brings a win.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dont have much time, but today we are playing the Centuarians @ 9.. this is a battle for second place in the league, since our last game we have dropped to 3rd place. We WILL win tonight its a guarentee, i have hit the gym for the past 2 weeks and im in the best shape of my twenty two's (ive been 22 for 21 days)

Lets getem strikers..

Long live Lindsay Lohan!

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Good God...What a massacre last night...I being personally responsable for 2 of the 8-9 goals we gave up. Something about these Centurions makes the strikers look like swiss cheese. I'm pretty sure the old timers could of beat us easily.

More to come....

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...