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Mitchell finds Secret Weapon


Cheeta

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It's been a while but Litterbox the Telepathic Alien Fly stops in to a humble east end row house after his latest trip to Montreal.

Litterbox

“Geezus Christ! You got ANOTHER cat!”

Cheeta

“What? Eh? Who the Hell? Litterbox? Oi, that you?”

Littlebox

“Yes its me. How many telepathic alien flies exactly do you know? Has Honourable Planet Destroyer Lord Admiral GvinJnnZrg (the bastard) been sending other scouts? You can tell me. I won't be upset. OOP! Cat alert!”

Cheeta

“Oh HEY! Scat. Piss off. Go on, shooh! Bloody hairballs. Hey! How yah doing? Long time no see.”

Littlerbox

“Just surviving. Been waiting here for hours playing hide and seek with your platoon of felines. Ahem, thirsty business that. Where have you been?”

Cheeta

“Oh, well. We buried another V today.”

Litterbox

“Another one? I hear they've been dropping like flys (Tee he he).”

Cheeta.

....

Litterbox.

“Ahem. Soooo, what happened? Hang himself? Jumped from a building? Drank water from the Red River?”

Cheeta

“No. Popped a vessel in his head. Died at his keyboard.”

Litterbox

“NO! Not another one!”

Cheeta

“Yep. That makes sixteen in three days. Bit grim to say but the good news is it's getting easier and easier to moderate the website with every passing hour. The bad news, besides the odvious casualties, is that the Wee Elf hid my keyboard and I have to bride The Little One to use her laptop. It's getting expensive. Red Stripe?”

Litterbox

“Red Strip? Isn't that a Jamaican beer? And yes please by the way”

Cheeta

“Yup.”

Litterbox

“You naughty boy.”

Cheeta

“We lose Wednesday and I'm drinking Corona..... with lime.”

Littlebox

“Well cheer up my good man! I come from Montreal with good tidings!”

Cheeta

“Really? Like what?”

Litterbox

“I think everyone seems to agree that amongst other things that the most important failing was that Canada lost the midfield on Saturday? Am I right?”

Cheeta

“Absolutely. That and we made the field narrower than it was but that was one of the cause and effects of the middle game, sure. Made us lose whatever shape we had, couldn't pass the ball upfield or isolate their flanks, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Spot on. The Engine Room let us down.”

Litterbox

“And one of the reasons for that failing was the lack of a destroying presence in front of the back four?”

Cheeta

“Agreed. Almost looked confused and panicked at times. I'll forgive The Guz and Hutch as they're expected to perform a more forward looking role but they were lost. Guz dropping deeper and deeper. Hutch everywhere, but Bernier? Man, he was useless. No one had a clue where he would be on any given play or what he would do when he got there. He was crap on Saturday and dragged the whole middle field and defense down with him. It was a shambles. Can't say I'm sorry he's suspended.”

Litterbox

“EXACTLY! And your coach knows it and is making corrections.”

Cheeta

“Yeah right. Have you been drinking already?”

Litterbox

“That has nothing to do with it. I was there. Mitchell has been pursuing a secret weapon who'd be the perfect destroyer for Canada right now. He's an American but apparently he's also eligible for Canada and Scotland but hasn't been cap tied yet and is agreeable to a Canadian call up for the match Wednesday.”

Cheeta

“Really? Well, that would free The Guz up some if he's effective and Hutch could organize and link more through the middle were there a good destroyer in there.”

Litterbox

“This guy is the ultimate destroyer. He'll win everything. Mitchell called him from the hotel Saturday night and it's all arranged. He'll be joining the squad today. Mitchell's only regret is he was hoping to save this Secret Weapon until The Hex but desperate times call for desperate measures.”

Cheeta

“You're certainly speaking with confidence.”

Litterbox

“I was there. Heard the entire conversation. Mitchell and the CSA brass are convinced this is the man who'll save this World Cup campaign.”

Cheeta

“And have I heard of this fellow you're being so secretive about?”

Litterbox

“Oh, I'm sure you have. When word gets out this is going to be massive. HUGE!”

Cheeta

“Hmmm. I'd say somehow Hargreaves switched sides but that's impossible and he ain't Scottish.”

Litterbox

“Nope. Not Hargreaves.”

Cheeta

“Ain't going to be Jon de Guzman. He can still come around but he certainly not a destroyer.”

Litterbox

“Tee hee hee. NOPE! Not junior!”

Cheeta

“Alright I give up. Who's this Secret Weapon? Who's going to be that midfield destroyer that'll lead us to the promised land?”

Litterbox.

"Chuck Norris".

Cheeta

"Chuck Norris? Dale Mitchell and the CSA brass think that the man who's going to save Canada's World Cup Qualifying campaign is...Chuck Norris?"

Litterbox

"CHUCK.... NORRIS!"

Cheeta

“Oi...”

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