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    Please don’t read this story


    The ongoing saga of What’s-His-Name and That-Really-Bad-MLS-Team-On-The-West-Coast has taken another baffling, hype-infested turn.


    The-Famous-Italian-Team-Wot-Really-Ought-To-Know-Better-Mate has apparently agreed to extend What’s-His-Name’s loan arrangement, offering more money for the rental than they were to buy the player outright.

    This is the kind of doomed, soggy story daily soccer writers only bore you with when they’re tired, hungry and want to knock off work early.

    As such, there is no reason for you to read this story – unless you find the ongoing destruction of That-Really-Bad-MLS-Team-On-The-West-Coast so utterly irresistible you just can’t look away.

    That-Really-Bad-MLS-Team-On-The-West-Coast may actually benefit from this, if the league allows them to claim What’s-His-Name as a half-season Designated Player, which could free up $200,000 under the salary cap – plus whatever reeking wad of cash The-Famous-Italian-Team-Wot-Really-Ought-To-Know-Better-Mate sends their way.

    This could bolster the urgently needed upgrade of That-Really-Bad-MLS-Team-On-The-West-Coast, and coming back to America mid-season might not be so much of a terminal bummer for What’s-His-Name if they accidentally stumble back into contention in the weakening MLS West Division.

    Why The-Famous-Italian-Team-Wot-Really-Ought-To-Know-Better-Mate would even bother eludes me, particularly since a set-piece specialist like What’s-His-Name would do them more good in the UEFA Cup than in Serie A, and they just got hoofed off the continent by Werder Bremen.

    Enough. I’m tired, hungry and ever so sorry you actually read this far. Let’s have something posh and spicy for dinner, and never speak of this again.


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