It had to happen. Sooner or later, the well-intentioned civic government of the Rose City of Portland, Oregon, was going to drop a curious dime to MLS commissioner Don Garber.
“Please, sir, given the economy and such, is it possible we could simply renovate our existing stadium, without that pesky having-to-build-a-new-one-for-our-baseball-team part?”
A well-meaning question. Garber’s response was straight out of Grimm’s Fairy Tales.
[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]“Without the fulfillment of this plan,” the big, bad Garber growled, “MLS cannot expand to Portland.”
His reasons – scheduling, not wanting to play soccer on baseball dirt, actually having seats on both sidelines – are sound. But America’s Boss of Soccer would not so easily be able to exert such pressure, were it not for …
Montreal.
Montreal, Oregon?
Nope. Quebec. Canada. Cheese country. Poutine. Rubber-tired subway trains. Smoked meat sandwiches to die for – or from.
See, we all knew, all along, why Montreal Impact owner Joey “Riverboat Slim” Saputo wanted to play another hand of cards at Don Garber’s poker table. A year ago, he didn’t have enough cash – and was starting a blinder of a run in the Voyageurs Cup/CONCACAF Champions League. “Who needs MLS?” the Lower Canada fermented curd man concluded.
Well, the continental dream is ashes now – not once, but twice. But that’s okay because here comes the Quebec government wanting to invest in construction in the East Island of Montreal – to wit, the expansion to MLS standards of Joey’s cute little soccer playground, Stade Saputo.
So Joey puts on his best Paul-Newman-in-The-Sting poker suit, and boldly asks Don Garber to shuffle up and deal.
Garber, seeing soft and pesky bureaucratic caution breaking out in Timber country, is only too happy to serve the Cheese Man another hand of cards.
Both gamblers, at last, have arrived at a no-lose situation. Garber knows he can yoink the Portland franchise anytime he likes, because Montreal is perfectly placed to move in. Saputo either gets his team in 2011, or almost immediately after as future considerations for giving Garber the leverage to muscle Portland into line.
A bit rough on the Timbers, perhaps, but they had to know the job was dangerous when they took it.
Odd how a business letter to a civic official in Oregon can be grounds for soccer celebration in the largest city in French Canada, but such is the game all concerned are playing.
It’s all up to Portland now.
Onward!