Six minutes into last night’s Toronto FC match in Denver against the Colorado Rapids, this reporter had seen … enough.
You know, on election nights, when they interrupt the deeper analysis of the first two per-cent of the vote-count from East West Central Widgetville to tell you the Social Troglodyte party has won the election and will be doing any darn thing they want for the next four years?
Here’s the election call, from the Onward! desk:
Toronto FC will miss the MLS playoffs for the third consecutive season.
[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
This came clear to me -- as noted about – after just six minutes. Right around the time the TFC D hairballed up a completely optional loose ball that long-suffering goalie Stefan Frei was forced to the carpet to save.
On a night when New England had lost to Kansas City, and DC United had been held to a draw by lowly Dallas, Toronto sent out a squad that included both Pablo Vitti and Chad Barrett in key attacking roles. No Ali Gerba, and of course no Danny Dichio.
Vitti and Barrett filed absolutely typical, predictable nights at the office. Worked hard? Check. Occasionally created something? Sure. Neither one of them came even remotely close to scoring a goal? Yep, howdy.
With the loss – because that’s what happens when three defenders stand around and watch league-leading goal scorer Connor Casey (ex-TFC, of course) rise for an uncontested header and the game’s only goal – Toronto remains in 11th place in MLS, looking up at a four-way log jam for the final two wildcard playoff spots. And two of the teams ahead of them – New England and Chivas USA – have two precious games in hand on Our Redcoats.
You’re going to hear a lot about Toronto’s remaining schedule – how three home games against Colorado, San Jose and the Salt Lake Seagulls, plus an easy win at New York will give them all the points they need to extend their season to at least Hallowe’en.
This is MLS, where parity reigns and even the best teams – the Houstons and Columbuses and Chicagos and … LA Galaxies? – don’t count on winning three home games in a row. Oh, and New York beat Columbus at the Meadowlands just last week.
Ah, Ben, but what about – Julian DeGuzman?
Sure! Bring in TFC’s first Designated Player with just six games to go. The only obstacle right now is salary cap room – which means dumping contracts. Oh, and then Toronto has to click on the field, which has rarely happened in 2009, even though some wonderful players have already been added to the roster.
I can paint you a thrilling picture. DeGuzman instantly becomes one of the very best and most dangerous players in all of MLS. And a schedule of also-rans – except for road trips to Chicago and Beckhamburg – must be ripe for pillaging by maybe the best midfield in MLS history?
DeGuzman, DeRosario, Guevara and Cronin.
John, Paul, George … and Cronin.
Terrifying, Weapon after weapon, and they can all play. Together, they can dominate. But other names will be gone. Popular ones. It’s going to be a lot for the rest of the roster to deal with, in a league that is already infuriatingly unpredictable.
Those two red cards on Amadou Sanyang and Adrian Serioux, last night, just for example. The word “soft” comes to mind. Velvet soft. Marshmallow fluff soft. Seven baby kittens in a basket soft.
I’ll spare you the “ref lost his mind” speech, at least until I’ve seen all the other MLS tape from this weekend. Some other well-meaning busload of boobs might have got treated worse by the officials, and I wouldn’t want to be the poor shlub screaming “fire” in an apocalypse.
Did you see the look in Serioux’s eyes when the deal went down? Blazing, but also disbelieving. Trying to stay calm, and work through the question of how can any professional defender to his job if THAT is a red-card foul?
The frustrated fan in me was almost hoping at that point that either Barrett or Vitti would run 30 yards and belt the ref right in the chops. I don’t advocate this, but the mind does strange, tortured things under pressure.
This ridiculous call came just as so many TFC fans finally got what they’ve craved for weeks – Dichio and Gerba up front, together, at the same time. But with Toronto two men down, it came to nothing. This league just bugs all joy and life out of me sometimes.
Can Toronto rally, earn a back-door wildcard, and get fed to Houston or Columbus or Chicago or Posh Spice on Hallowe’en weekend? Yes.
Will they? No.
Even with DeGuzman? Sorry.
Between this team, its strategy, and the swirling oddities of a league with enforced parity and terrible refs, even if Toronto plays well enough to win all their remaining games, they won’t. And they’re not going to play that well, anyway, so – well …
The Onward! election desk concedes. No playoffs again.
And may the players, coaches and occasional general manager fall … where they may.
Onward!