To no one’s surprise, the Montreal Impact today announced that they will continue to use the Impact name when they enter MLS next season.
The pros of the name are that it’s the same in French and English and they’ve used it for a few years.
The cons are that it’s God-awful.
Inspired by the choice today, I’ve decided to re-visit a post I wrote for the old 24th Minute. The 10 worst North American soccer nicknames. The list is limited to D2 and above men’s teams along with D1 women’s.
Enjoy?
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No. 10 - Cleveland Stokers
“Hey dude ya wanna go check out the Stokers game?”
“Yeah man, I’m like so stoked..stoked, like, get it?
"Gnarly, dude. Gnarly."
No. 9 - Tennessee Rhythm
A “great” combination of the use of a State's name and non-tangible things as a nickname. Hey mom, wen I grow up I want to be a Rhythm. Aren’t there bears or something in Tennessee. What’s wrong with bears?
No. 8 - Syracuse Salty Dogs
I want to know just how they found out they were salty?
No. 7 - San Diego Jaws
One can only assume that this was named after the movie, rather than the bottom of the owner’s face.
No. 6 - Montreal Impact
Yeah, Mr. Toronto went there. Seriously though...Impact?
No. 5 - Philadelphia Charge
Shirt sponsor = Visa
No. 4 - Bay Area CyberRays
No space. What is a CyberRay anyway? I love it when teams are named after trends. The CyberRays were destined to always be stuck in the '90s. So, maybe it’s good for them the league folded.
No. 3 - Sky Blue FC
What does it even mean? If you don’t follow WPS how would you ever know where this team plays? This name, unlike others on this list, doesn’t sound bad to the ear it just makes no sense (I’m sure there is a story, but with WPS you don’t have time to learn said story).
No. 2 - Jacksonville Tea Men
I only wish I could have been in the stands cheering against a team named the Tea Men. So. Many. Jokes.
No. 1 - Real Salt Lake
The only name that actually hurts the credibility of a league. An absolute embarrassment that never gets easier to deal with. If I ever win the lottery, I’m buying Salt Lake just to change that abomination of a name.