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https://deadspin.com/manchester-united-scout-journeys-to-iceland-to-see-game-1820318394

 

Manchester United Scout Journeys To Iceland To See Game Being Played In Qatar

Iceland and the Czech Republic met yesterday for a friendly match, which the Czechs won 2-1 over Thor’s Mighty World Cup-Bound Soccer Raiders. The current international break is replete with friendlies scattered around the world, and as such, major clubs have sent their scouts to go check them out. Future 2017-18 Premier League runners up Manchester United attempted to send a scout of their own to see whether studs like Ondrej Celustka or Hjörtur Hermannsson could play.

However, he was off by three time zones, as the game took place in Doha, Qatar. Icelandic paper Fótbolti reported that a Danish scout from United (who appears to be Tommy Møller Nielsen) emailed the Icelandic FA, got his tickets to the game, and then exasperatedly messaged them again yesterday when he showed up to an empty stadium in Reykjavik. They politely told him that he’d played himself.

Earlier this year, Nielsen said, “Scouting consists equally of seeing that there is nothing,” and at least he got to see nothing on his cool-ass trip to Iceland, which he can now brag about.
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20 minutes ago, dsqpr said:

Tim Howard song based on him having tourettes:

Tim timery

Tim timery,

Tim tim taroo

We have Tim Howard

And he says "Fuck you"

That's so offensive. How do you think the good people of Taroo, India feel being mentioned along side a douche like Tim Howard?

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You Watt? Ref admits error

Daily Express 8 Mar 2018 TONY BANKS

A RED card has been rescinded after referee Dean Hulme sent a player off for dissent because he thought he was taking the mickey.

About to book the player, Hulme asks who he is.

“Watt,” says the player.

“What?” says the referee.

“Watt,” says the player.

Hulme then brandishes the red card.

Sanchez Watt, right, was playing for Hemel Hempstead Town in their National League South game against East Thurrock United on Tuesday. A red-faced Hulme later rescinded the card. “It was a human error,” said Hemel chairman Dave Boggins. “The referee was man enough to rectify it. I think everybody found it amusing afterwards – including the referee. He came into the boardroom after the game and explained how he had made the mistake. “He was very apologetic and saw the funny side of it. He was a good ref on the night, to be fair.” Burnley’s Ben Mee is reportedly a very worried man...
 

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English commentator John Motson is retiring after a career spanning 5 decades. Here are some amusing "mottyisms" by which to remember him:

THE GREATEST MOTTYISMS

“The World Cup is a truly international event.”

“It’s Arsenal 0 Everton 1, and the longer it stays like that, the more you’ve got to fancy Everton.”

“For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip."

“The Crazy Gang have beaten the Culture Club” – Unfancied Wimbledon beat Liverpool in the 1988 FA Cup Final.

“You can still buy tickets for knockout games off the internet. That’s if you know how to. I certainly don’t.”

“Middlesbrough are withdrawing Maccarone the Italian, Nemeth the Slovakian and Stockdale the right-back.”

“The referee is wearing the same yellow-coloured top as the Slovakian goalkeeper. I’d have thought the Uefa official would have spotted that – but perhaps he’s been deafened by the noise of this crowd.”

“It’s delirious! It’s delightful! It’s Denmark.”

“If David Beckham claims that goal, it will be only the second goal he has scored for England... well, no, it won’t be. It’ll be the fourth or fifth free kick, I think...”

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 01/04/2018 at 2:49 AM, dsqpr said:

English commentator John Motson is retiring after a career spanning 5 decades. Here are some amusing "mottyisms" by which to remember him:

THE GREATEST MOTTYISMS

“The World Cup is a truly international event.”

“It’s Arsenal 0 Everton 1, and the longer it stays like that, the more you’ve got to fancy Everton.”

“For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip."

“The Crazy Gang have beaten the Culture Club” – Unfancied Wimbledon beat Liverpool in the 1988 FA Cup Final.

“You can still buy tickets for knockout games off the internet. That’s if you know how to. I certainly don’t.”

“Middlesbrough are withdrawing Maccarone the Italian, Nemeth the Slovakian and Stockdale the right-back.”

“The referee is wearing the same yellow-coloured top as the Slovakian goalkeeper. I’d have thought the Uefa official would have spotted that – but perhaps he’s been deafened by the noise of this crowd.”

“It’s delirious! It’s delightful! It’s Denmark.”

“If David Beckham claims that goal, it will be only the second goal he has scored for England... well, no, it won’t be. It’ll be the fourth or fifth free kick, I think...”

 

Motty! Love his quotes, I’ve got a book of hilarious football quotes and there are some absolute peaches in there. Naturally Motty has his own chapter

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  • 6 months later...
On 7/31/2017 at 6:57 PM, dsqpr said:

Top 20 unexpected goals in football. Some absolutely crazy ones in here. But one clearly illegal one. (Can you spot it? If so, please don't reply so that others can look for it too.)

https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DQ1rhoq77dcY&ved=0ahUKEwjL_8GHzrTVAhVG0oMKHcsGCiQQyCkIHzAA&usg=AFQjCNHK4pj5o6zb9sErjJF8GQlOm4Z3HQ

I spotted it, and since it's been almost a year and a half I feel like I can at least say one thing about it.

Don't worry, the illegal one didn't count, since it didn't actually happen. It was a doctored video.

Fun video for all the other legitimate ones.

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On 11/22/2020 at 7:37 AM, Greatest Cockney Rip Off said:

Just wait until Ben Affleck and Matt Damon take over Chester. 

My dream: we get promoted while Wrexham stay in national league. The games next year get televised cause Reynolds keeps making out how beating Chester is the only thing that matters and we rake in the money. We beat Wrexham both times in the league, Jonno makes several jokes at Wrexham’s/the celebs expense in the post match interviews until they can’t hack it and give Wrexham back to the fans. Wrexham get relegated, we stay up and our pub team is dubbed vastly superior. Wrexham never trouble us again and just turn into the middling NLN team that we might be slowly becoming in reality

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On 11/22/2020 at 7:37 AM, Greatest Cockney Rip Off said:

Just wait until Ben Affleck and Matt Damon take over Chester. 

My nightmare/reality: Wrexham get promoted and stabilise as a league club while we struggle as fan owned forever because of all the moneybags owners in non league. Boo 😔

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