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The MLS Sucks Thread


Mister215Guy

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On 02/01/2017 at 7:29 PM, Mister215Guy said:

I noticed a lot of Canadian fans (myself included) are either pissed off at MLS's lack of quality hurting Canada's progress or simply it's a rubbish league on par of England's Division 8-9 or Pakistan's league. So I'll open this thread to rant about how bad MLS is and hopefully this will get the attention of the CSA and make them do the reasonable action of expelling MLS from Canada and refusing to call up any MLS players in the future.

You're a Canadian fan? I thought that you were a jaded American fan. Don't try to trick us in saying that you're a Canadian fan.

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30 minutes ago, dyslexic nam said:

Sorry.  Just trolling.

That behaviour, quite frankly, is completely unacceptable here.  I cannot abide by it AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT.

Please, for the love of God, get back to the watermelon.  How big was it?  Was it ripe?  What kind of Vodka was it?  Ever tried Vermouth in a watermelon?

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Starting from the end.

- never had vermouth, in a melon or otherwise.

- the vodka was from a local distillery. I am no conniseur, and have a fairly unsophisticated palate (as demonstrated by my enjoyment of MLS) so I try to buy locally produced booze almost exclusively these days.

- fully ripe and water-melon sized (Sugar Babies tend to be on the small side of the Saffir Simpson Watermelon Index)

And apologies for derailing an otherwise informative thread that sought to advance Canada-US relations by critically exploring the dynamic between our two countries and their inexplicable endorsement of shit-league MLS that is populated by no-talent hacks who couldn't cut it at a sub-par U12 tournament.

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4 hours ago, dyslexic nam said:

- fully ripe and water-melon sized (Sugar Babies tend to be on the small side of the Saffir Simpson Watermelon Index).

I was so excited that this might be a thing until I googled it.

Well played!

For my part, I only drink single-malt scotch through over-ripe canteloupes.  It really activates the earth tones in the entire bouquet.

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On 1/12/2017 at 11:31 AM, dyslexic nam said:

Starting from the end.

- never had vermouth, in a melon or otherwise.

- the vodka was from a local distillery. I am no conniseur, and have a fairly unsophisticated palate (as demonstrated by my enjoyment of MLS) so I try to buy locally produced booze almost exclusively these days.

- fully ripe and water-melon sized (Sugar Babies tend to be on the small side of the Saffir Simpson Watermelon Index)

And apologies for derailing an otherwise informative thread that sought to advance Canada-US relations by critically exploring the dynamic between our two countries and their inexplicable endorsement of shit-league MLS that is populated by no-talent hacks who couldn't cut it at a sub-par U12 tournament.

But was it seedless?  I bet it was.  Seedless water melons are perfect for MLS fans.  They are so ignorant of quality.  They can't be trusted to spit the seeds out.  You wouldn't find a seedless water melon at Frickley Athletic vs Skelmersdale United.  

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2 hours ago, kacbru said:

But was it seedless?  I bet it was.  Seedless water melons are perfect for MLS fans.  They are so ignorant of quality.  They can't be trusted to spit the seeds out.  You wouldn't find a seedless water melon at Frickley Athletic vs Skelmersdale United.  

Reading this thread and....

giphy.gif

Anyways, MLS really suck, I mean even the NASL has a team in Puerto Rico. I can't understand why MLS hasn't gone to Guam or American Samoa yet, nevermind Alaska and Hawaii being left out.

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12 hours ago, -Hammer- said:

Anyways, MLS really suck, I mean even the NASL has a team in Puerto Rico. I can't understand why MLS hasn't gone to Guam or American Samoa yet, nevermind Alaska and Hawaii being left out.

I'm not sure why you are bringing this up. Please try to stay on topic.

I enjoyed the Family Guy gif though! It's both funny and relevant to the thread.

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4 hours ago, Kent said:

I'm not sure why you are bringing this up. Please try to stay on topic.

I enjoyed the Family Guy gif though! It's both funny and relevant to the thread.

Unsure where the sarcasm beings and the real commenting here ends, which I suppose also accurately descibes my post...and most of this 38 clowncar pileup of a thread.

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OK, I really want to be serious here. I just want to find out honestly the real quality of MLS and where it stands in the world. Fine, I promise I won't insult or attack anyone personally and if you support MLS and are OK with it I'll accept it. I can still talk about how terrible it really is.

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On 03/01/2017 at 7:25 AM, AvroArrow said:

I totally agree.  A number of months ago I was visiting Islamabad with an acquaintance of mine.  He was an importer/exporter of chips (some potato, some corn) and had made a small fortune that he eventually lost by gambling on the local elephant races.  Since my visit was before he had lost all his wealth, he purchased two tickets for the championship match between Pakistani club juggernauts WAPDA FC (Water and Power Development Authority Football Club) and KRL FC (Khan Research Laboratories Football Club).  I must say I was very impressed with the level of skill, as both teams played with the flair of Brazil and the fortitude of Germany.  The game finished 2-1 for WAPDA, with the team captain receiving the trophy from the Emperor of Pakistan.  After hoisting the trophy with his teammates, the fans rushed the field, hoisted the players on their shoulders, and carried them around the field while chanting their memorable club song.

All in all, it was a fantastic day.  I have yet to see MLS do anything comparable.

As a lifelong supporter of WAPDA, because they provide the best water and power development in south Asia, I must thank you for the memories evoked from this post.  By the way, the Pakistani division 8 elephant races are comparable to anything MLS has to offer.

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On 10/01/2017 at 10:06 AM, AvroArrow said:

I totally agree.  A number of months ago I was visiting a friend in Doncaster, as I wanted to sample some of the local fish and chips.  I often find that nothing beats a freshly caught Doncaster perch dipped in a delectable Parmesan and garlic batter.  I happened to meet up with a friend of mine down at the local fishing wharf, as that's where all of the best shops can be found. My friend had made a small fortune by converting all of his pounds into EUROs and then converting back to pounds after Angela Merkel had made that unfortunate comment about the EURO "not being worth more than a Dortmund sausage."  But those were simpler times when a man could make a buck by hedging his bets on a loose lipped politician.  Unfortunately, those days are long gone.

 As luck would have it, my friend and I were able to acquire two tickets to the Doncaster vs. Luton Town match and settled in our seats to watch the game while munching away on our Parmesan perch.  And as much as I loved that deep fried batter, I must say the football match was better!  Both teams played with the levels of audacity and experience that I had not seen since my last trip to Pakistan to watch their championship match.  The score ended 2-1 for Doncaster, with the winning goal resulting from a bicycle scorpion kick by the keeper, who had inexplicably pushed forward on a corner kick despite the score being tied.

After the match, luck struck again as we boarded a double decker bus only to discover that it was the same bus that was taking the Doncaster players to a local pub to celebrate their victory.  We spent the evening drinking with the lads, swapping tales, and didn't find ourselves back home until 2am.

All in all, it was a fantastic day.  I have yet to see MLS do anything comparable.

 

You need to write about a hundred more of these and compile them into a book and get them published.  I'd buy one, but only if it's autographed, although not necessarily by the author.  I'd prefer that it be autographed by someone who's still living, or was at least living at the time it was autographed.  

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