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Grand River CPL Supporters

Levi Oakey

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  • 2 years later...


Bear with me for a bit. A little piece of local history. I will connect it to soccer with what some would say outlandish theories.
This is a case from the KW-files. A case that even Mulder and Scully would think twice from taking.... For those in the know will be familiar with this famous former resident from the KW area. Her name was Anna Mitchell-Hedges.
Many years in the past she would occasionally visit local elementary schools and display the beautiful rare artifact in her possession. This is the infamous Mitchell-Hedges Crystal Skull. Also known as The Skull of Doom.
Many things have been said about this wonderous little souvenir. From just an old forgery from Europe to an ancient Mayan artifact of untold power made with unkown tools and technology that even the high Mayan priests did not possess at the time. The folklore about it is a little farfetched, just a smidgen.... or maybe not!
Now you may have been told it was moved to America years ago. But what if I told you that in fact, that one is a fake! The real Crystal Skull is hidden somewhere in Kitchener to this day!
I have a theory that it is hidden on the old grounds of the abandoned Schneider's processing plant! I know this revelation is hard to take. But it cannot be easily dismissed.
You might be wondering what possible evidence do I have for such preposterous claims? And in what way could this be specifically related to Canadian soccer?
Well now....a soccer specific stadium, that is! Look at the location. Near downtown, LRT stops not far from the area and the busy Iron horse trail passes nearby.
Perfect, almost too perfect. Except for the pesky real Crystal Skull perhaps buried somewhere on that site.
Now if you talk to the old timers in the area they will tell you blood curdling tales from long ago. Being awakened before dawn by ungodly sounds of restless beasts and a stench so foul that no mortal could bare. Of course you will say these stories are just musings of the elderly. It was just a trucker with cattle or pigs. Even Scooby-Doo isnt spooked by such nonsense. I say hogwash! The skull is attracting creatures not of this world! The signs point to a sinister supernatural shenanigans at the very least. Even the Littlest Hobo would whimper in fear.
You might be wondering what was planned for this site. A business park, but it has been stalled for many years. The development seems cursed.
I shudder at the thought of more Office Space. Can you imagine that! The printers would surely malfunction. The workers would be forced to smash it to smithereens. Under an unknown power. "PC load letter",what does that even mean? Some ancient language from another realm? The workers would have bad case of the Mondays. Maybe I am jumping to conclusions... or maybe not!
Whatever the case, the site has become  dark, dangerous, and in ruins. Little remains of a forgotten time. Though on some summer days before dusk you might still smell the smoked sausages in the wind...
A small stadium would fit the area nicely. The local soccer supporters could chant and sing. The soothing incantations would tame the unstable power of the Crystal Skull.
Though I wonder if the spirits in liquid form would make the supporters  possessed for awhile. A victory by a local pro team should solve that problem.
I must stop this tomfoolery since April 1st has long passed. Put away my costumes since it's to early for Holloween and I am certainly not Mr Dressup.
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It's just up Courtland, past Stirling Street. Historically a working class area.

Of note many young people come to the area. Many martial art/combat sport schools. And Cameron Heights high-school is near, Lennox Lewis was a former student.

Also of note, way more young Brazilians in the city then I thought.

Last I heard the development was "under review", whatever that means. The developer doesn't have a great reputation since it stalled another development in the past also.

Seems a real pity, since nothing has been done for a long time.

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Which no doubt means here:


with whoever runs Cameron Heights Collegiate Institute being the educational body that didn't want to play along by donating the ideal parcel of land. Guess the business park angle explains why. After that CanPL appeared to be of the opinion that Wilfred Laurier's stadium was unsuitable for a pro team even if they could get unmarked fieldturf in there:


and that was the end of the road for K/W.

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I meant the area further off by Borden. A piece of land forever stalled as a construction zone.

The area behind Cameron Heights would be suitable. A large field plus a kids park. 

I think the problem, is a similar problem with most areas near Toronto. Local identity isn't strong enough exempt for Hamilton.

Most people here have no idea about Lennox Lewis or even the local connection to the Indiana Jones movies. Local culture begins and ends with Octoberfest and  amateur OHL hockey team. Most people travel to Toronto or Hamilton for sports and music.

So what happens is that a push towards local pro sports isn't their. I think London has a better chance of securing a soccer specific stadium. And most likely will be better supported.

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OK, makes sense now. Maybe they looked at multiple locations because I vaguely remember a school board entering the saga at one point in terms of the rumours that were circulating. In London, this parking lot was the location that the FC London owner was angling for where a future CanPL compatable municipal soccer stadium was concerned:


think there's supposed to be an issue with the land being contaminated that makes it unlikely to happen.

Don't think a 6000+ capacity SSS is happening in London any time soon but hope I'm wrong. Think the Rangers being so well supported bodes well for what could happen with a soccer team in K/W relative to what happened with York United in the GTA but have my doubts how prominently regional Ontario markets feature on CanPL's agenda, if the end game has always really been a soccer version of the CFL rather than the pro/rel model Paul Beirne pedalled in podcasts back in 2018.

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