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Match Etiquette


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(I'm a firm believer in Projected Spirit. We humans are connected in ways which once discovered will make X-Files scenarios look like Tele-tubbies skits. Thus,,,,)

The Football Supporters Rules of Etiquette. Canadian chapter.

There are several simple rules to follow in order to maintain a proper supporter match etiquette. Observance of these rules is vital to improving our chances of victory regardless of whether the match is being broadcast live on television or if the match is being followed over the internet. So pay attention, there will be a test.

The observence of these Rules of Etiquette during the tape delay broadcast (or subsequent 1st viewing of a taped match at home) while not necessary, are encouraged. Just think of it as a curtosy. Good form. There is something to be said in our day and age when one can be bothered to know their football manners.

Rule #1

Wear your team colours. Prefferably your team's shirt, but lacking that, your teams colours. If it's not know on the day of the match what colours are to be worn, go with the signature colours of your side. Expecting Canada will be in red today, and as that's Canada's signature colour it's a no lose situation for us Canada supports.

Rule #2

Drink Canadian beer. At least until the final whistle. Post analysis can be conducted under the influence of the beverage of choice although again, victory celebrations should be held with domestic lager as a 1st choice if at all possible.

Non-beer drinkers are expected to salute the 1st team with a lager as a sign of solidarity and fellowship. They may turn to spirits or hard liquor if they so choose after the initial bottle's been drained. This is something the Football Gods demand. Don't screw it up.

Rule #3

Don't be nice to the enemy supports. They've got a job to do. You've got a job to do. Get on with it.

Rule #4(Optional)

Beer Cannon.

Good guys score. Cannon back beer. Immediately order fresh lager. This is an optional etiquette given the absence of a DD. Otherwise poor form not to participate.

Rule #5.

It's vital to remember that no matter what anyone in the so-called "know" tells you, Yes, they can hear you when you yell at the television.

But you have to yell really, really, loud.

If your voice isn't gone the next morning you're just not trying hard enough.

Running late so I got to go. Feel free to add the many I've missed.


Holger Osiek

Pre-match interview


Gold Cup 2000

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I always knew they could hear me! Even when I'm watching tape delay.

Shirt on - check.

Rule #6 - Watching the match commands your complete attention, including those people around you. Especially girlfriends who could care less. If they wander off into another room, or take a phone call - you must bring them back and have them focus on the match. Any wasted focus causes negative karma that can have a detrimental impact on the match.

Rule #7 - The referee's a w-anker.

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Guest Jeffery S.
quote:Originally posted by Daniel

My Canadian tuque, scarf and jersey have brought nothing but bad luck so I refuse to wear them anymore.

There is the error. When watching television you have to wrap the set itself in the scarf, for it is the tv itself that will transmit the collective desires of those watching to the field. The tv should be turned into a sort of shrine. My personal feeling is that this is much more important than what you wear or drink.

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quote:Originally posted by Jeffrey S.

There is the error. When watching television you have to wrap the set itself in the scarf

Good catch.

In regard to shrine builing this is an often neglected, but important feature of match etiquette in Canada.

Scarves, Canada shirts (even hockey ones), Moosehead Beer coasters, along with Tragicaly Hip CDs are allways welcome additions to the TV shrine. However, a really significant and powerful relic of shrine building in Canada is the Red Rose Tea figurine.

I like the little deer one myself. Strong medicine!

As to the shirt question;


Canada is a bit unusual in that our home kit is a darker colour, red in this case, than our away kit. Honduras will be in their whites and blues today and so force Canada into their red home kit as a result. I think we all prefer our Red Minnows from Hell in actual red. I know I do. So we don't want any confusing signals going out to the Football Gods by wearing white when the enemy is so adorned.

You've got time. Get a red t-shirt. Get a thick black felt marker. In big horking letters write "CANADA" across the front and whatever logo you desire. (I want a beaver on the Canada shirts and am collecting names for a petition to send to the CSA, let me know if you're interested.) Wear this alternate red kit over your away shirt. The Football Gods help those who help themselves and reward innovation.

As to the lack of Canadian beer...

Alternately a rye-and-ginger-with-lime will substitute in the most extreme of cases. CC is available absolutely everywhere. In the most extreme cases where no Canadian rye is to found, and no beer either you'll just have to improvise.

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quote:Originally posted by Soju

I think he meant red was the default colour, in this case white is the obvious choice.

Thanks man...I think he meant that too..I`m also going to be wearing red adidas socks..



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  • 5 months later...

I had my jersey and scarf (circa 2000-2002) on today, with a tuque I took off. During the game had some Molson and a bite of a poutine (for bonus points). Talked to a relative of the Nats (OO's family) and yelled at the screen ("Take Imh off!", and to Dero "CHANGE YOUR SHOES!!!!!").

So I figure I'm okay. Still didn't help :(.

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  • 2 months later...
  • 1 year later...

Think many of the eastern lads are off to the match by this point but ah well, what the Hell?

For the rest of us, you must know the drill by now but if you don't there it is.

Off to The Cavalier on Nairn to watch the match on the 100 inch projector in the basement pretty soon. Anyone in the area is welcome to come say "Hey" and have a Blue on moi. Wee Elf usualy tags along for these things and maybe a couple of lads from the beer team so I'll be on my best behaviour, as boring as that is.

Heeeeere weeee goooo. Here we go, here we go.

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  • 2 years later...

It's been a couple of years but BUMP

Ironic isn't it? This topic was 1st started for the Frankie Yallop Experience CONCACRAP Tour '04. Against Honduras at Commonwealth I think wasn't it?

No Watson and no crap Mexican ref this go around!

In the words of the Holger Osiek on the eve of Canada's great Gold Cup victory over Columbia 8 years ago...


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Guest Jeffery S.

The most important thing is to be concentrated on the game. Focus. Concentrate. Don't get distracted. Most of us are not bipolar nor have any other excuse. Piss beforehand. Get your drink when the team is NOT playing. And stay concentrated.

Lack of concentration amongst fans is the main reason why teams make errors and give up dumb goals. Which one of you was not paying attention when Jamaica scored on Onstad? You know who you are. Do not make the same mistake this time.

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Well Cheeta, if Karma is a factor, and we all believe it is. I came through both hell and high water to be here for this one.

Flew back from London for cheap on Air India yesterday, traumatizing experiecing it was. Raced from JFK to Newark only to find that my Porter flight had been overbooked due to an aircraft break-down and I wasn't able to get on a flight until this morning.

However, I was advised that there was the tail-end of hurricane approaching NYC this morning and I might not get out at all if I left it until today.

So at 1045PM last night I hopped on an over-night bus from NYC to Toronto and finally arrived home a couple minutes ago.

I am boarding a flight to Montreal in a couple hours.



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Guilty as charged, I wasn't paying attention when Onstad gaffed. Then I just felt sick to my stomach as though I'd had something to do with his transgression. I'll be sharper today, and as for the overseas crowd who can't find Canadian beer, I agree that CC is the drink of choice, but our chances of success are enhanced if you mix it with Canada Dry Ginger Ale. Yes, maybe Canada Dry isn't a Canadian company any more, but if you use Schweppes or heaven forbid "president's choice" or any other knock off, it sends the wrong message. We have to be united today, it's Canadian Beer, or it's CC and Canada Dry Ginger Ale....no excuses.

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