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Ferners


amacpher

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I see you (ie. Mimglow) didn't get much agreement with your (old) post below so I just have to say I find the ferners (see definition below) extremely annoying not to mention idiotic. I think there’s little doubt that they have a negative effect on attendance figures, not only at stadiums stupid enough to allow them inside, but also TV ratings! You’re telling me that bringing ferners in a stadium is legal but drinking a beer on the street or in a park is not because it ‘disturbs the general public’? I’m going to borrow some Jim Rome jargon to make a point: If you’re over the age of 6 and you own a ferner, then you are a loser. Seek professional counseling (if you didn’t blow your brains completely out already). The inventor of this ridiculous noise maker should be forcibly dressed into AC Milan gear from head to toe and dropped-off (along with some of his ferners) in some shady neighbourhood in Bergamo at 2:00 in the morning! I’m sure over there they will have a better idea about where his ferners should be placed!

quote:Originally posted by Mimglow

One note on the match though, something that has forever annoyed me about some fans:

Am I the only one who cannot stand "ferners"? (Explanation: My friends and I call the long plastic horns that one mindlessly blows in to create a long "FEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!" sound "ferners". I don't know why, we just do.)

If there has ever been a more mindless creation in all of history, please enlighten me. I'm all for being noisy, but not noise for noise's sake. If that were the case, we'd play the sound of a Mack truck barrelling down the highway with it's horn blowing on the intercom system for 90 minutes. These people just blow and blow and blow in those contraptions without really having any goal. Sing, clap, shout, bang a drum, do SOMETHING creative!!!

Am I the only one? Do I need to go into therapy? Please tell me I'm not the only one. Please...

Mimglow, Ottawa

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Where are the weapons of mass destruction?

Andrew, New York City

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quote:Originally posted by amacpher

I see you (ie. Mimglow) didn't get much agreement with your (old) post below so I just have to say I find the ferners (see definition below) extremely annoying not to mention idiotic.

I didn't jump in at the time but I agree completely. I hate those freakin' things. It would be one thing if they were blown at choice times (setting up for a penalty, immediately after scoring) along with all the other noise in the stadium; my experience, though, is that they are used to fill "dead air" while other fans are doing that other thing--what is it--oh, yes, watching the game.

I was at the Ti-Cats game on Saturday and there were no end of ferners in the stands. Maybe it was just something about Ivor Wynne these days but they sounded like a funeral dirge played at half-speed. Come to think of it, that was rather apt. So for the Ti-Cats this year--acceptable. Elsewhere--NO!

Allez les Rouges,

M@

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Guest Georgio
quote:The inventor of this ridiculous noise maker should be forcibly dressed into AC Milan gear from head to toe and dropped-off (along with some of his ferners) in some shady neighbourhood in Bergamo at 2:00 in the morning!

You probably already know this but it does have a purpose outside of football as a fog horn commonly used by ships/boats in coastal harbours where the fog is so dense that accidents need to be avoided. Definately is annoying at soccer matches though.

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Hi everyone.

I just came back from weeks of therapy for my FERNER problem, believing as it was that I was the only one with the problem. Yet now I come back to find approval of my post. Thanks guys. Now, is there any way to undo the damage from the shock therapy I received? I seem to twitch uncontrollably when I hear a Ferner...

Mimglow, Ottawa

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And to counteract

We gotta take the power back

Rage Against The Machine

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quote:Originally posted by Mimglow

Hi everyone.

I just came back from weeks of therapy for my FERNER problem, believing as it was that I was the only one with the problem. Yet now I come back to find approval of my post. Thanks guys. Now, is there any way to undo the damage from the shock therapy I received? I seem to twitch uncontrollably when I hear a Ferner...

I think the best thing is to channel that negative energy into positive action. For example, use the twitching to distract the ferner blower for a moment, then punch him in the groin.

Ain't psychology great?

Allez les Rouges,

M@

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I bet they don’t have this ferner problem at those soccer matches played in Central America where fans are known to bring plastic bags or balloons filled with urine to the game. How I would love </u>to see one of those urine bombs land in a ferner while some dim-witted moron is blowing on the other end.

Andrew, New York City

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The latest ferner news:

These ridiculous things were a topic of conversation during the "World Soccer Weekly" radio show. The conclusion made was that they seem to annoy everybody. By the way if anybody didn't know, the "World Soccer Weekly" radio show is broadcast over the internet now! It's a great show and seems to be the only one of its kind in this continent!

Also, the following sentence appears on the MLS website:

"Enthusiasm was evident in the 10 MLS stadiums across the country as flag-waving, horn-blowing and roaring fans showed why soccer is here to stay"

Brutal!! How does ferner-blowing tell us that soccer is here to stay? I guess soccer is never going to make it in Brazil cuz I don't see too many ferners in the crowd down there!

Andrew, New York City

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