FIFA president Sepp Blatter got too close to yet another seductive open microphone the other day, and said he wants Major League Soccer to quickly adopt a traditional August-to-May soccer season.
I don’t want to waste a “Blatter Blats” on this one, because there are a lot of prominent people out there who feel the same way. So let’s talk geo-meteorology instead.
[PRBREAK][/PRBREAK]
Toyota Park, Chicago, on a sunny January 16. It’s a cold, clear -12, and the prevailing wind off Lake Michigan is making it feel like -20. The Chicago Fire (don’cha jus’ love ironic nicknames?) are home in a crucial MLS East tussle with Kansas City.
It’s a regional rivalry (well, sort of), and KC’s visiting fans (53 of them in a drafty bus and a VW minivan – let’s give them a warm, Chicago welcome, Fire fans!) have swelled today’s actual game-day attendance to … 308?
And don’t forget to get your c-o-l-d beer!
The world of soccer, dear souls, really doesn’t get it about snow.
Soccer was born in England, which sits under a prevailing jet stream of warmer air, which reliably sees to it that Ol’ Blighty – while soaked with teeming rains – never gets too cold, or hot, for soccer.
Knock-on effects from this same jet stream see to it that northern France and Germany really don’t suffer much in the ice and snow department. Oh, the mountains get clobbered, but once you’re clear of the Alps, deep and prevailing winter is … a rarity.
Further east, in Poland and the endless aching arch of Mother Russia, winter is deeply entrenched, and seemingly endless. Soccer does well, regardless. But as we shall soon see, such places are the exception.
Down in Spain and Italy, you’re so far south that snow just isn’t an option. Again, the great mountainous seam of the Italian boot goes white quite regularly. But most Italian soccer balls get hoofed closer to the warming seas.
South America, you say? The vast majority of it – Brazil included – is, at worst, sub-tropical. Great swathes of Argentina delve deep to the south, but are warmed by the Atlantic, and give up the quest far clear of the polar Antarctic wastes.
The great soccer centres of Asia tend to be Japan and Korea, where for certain it can bluster, but massive country-enveloping blizzards are significantly rare. And Africa? I spent a year in Africa as a small child. Rain? Oh, my mercy, did it rain! Snow? Most folks down that way don’t even know what it is.
Now let’s talk Canada, and the northern United States.
Sports fans of my generation – pre-domed stadiums, for the most part – grew up with the NFC Central Division. Minnesota, Chicago, Detroit and the Green Bay Packers. Much past November, these were ice-bowls. The games were fascinating, and not for their intricate, high-level technical precision. This was trench warfare on the Russian steppes, and it made for incredible television.
And now, Sepp wants to play soccer in the Midwest in February. Or – in Canada?
Because Canada and the U.S. are late arrivals to the global soccer party, the FIFA-verse can, perhaps, be forgiven for not realizing that a cold December rain in a place like Newcastle, England, translates into a foot or more of snow in Foxboro, New England.
Toronto FC fans are true and fanatic in their devotion, but how many February 5 home dates with Salt Lake and Chivas would it take to ice that joy significantly?
Certainly, joining the rest of the soccer world’s schedule would simplify things like player transfers. But I’ll take some bureaucratic obstacles, thanks, if it means I can watch TFC hit the season’s dog days in August rather than in the teeth of a Great Lakes February.
To make the point, I invite Sepp Blatter to move the World Club championship tournament to Chicago. Manchester United vs. Boca Juniors, with a significant trophy at stake, at Soldier Field in February.
This wouldn’t be a permanent move. Just one year ought to get it done.
Let the best of the best see what winter in the rustbelt does to the beautiful game of soccer. I’m thinking the entire subject of schedule synchronization would quietly drift away forever, without another word being said.
And soccer in the summer will go on – forever.
Onward!