In an ideal world, every game played by our national teams would be televised live, in glorious high-definition, and every member of the viewing public would get an ice cream sundae (and get to choose the flavour).
Plus, of course, it'd be free, since most people -- for some odd reason -- think there are no costs associated with producing a live broadcast, and any attempt by a broadcaster to attempt to recoup those costs is utterly evil and exploitative. [/soapbox]
Living in the world in which we do, however, Canadian national team games are quite frequently not televised. So, we get a few live tweets and are left to fill in the blanks with our imagination. I take it a step further and fill in the blanks with nonsense, which has resulted in a nice little series of mostly fabricated synopses (here
are some past examples).
Anyway, Canada played Finland in their Cyprus Cup opener on Wednesday morning. We won 3-0. Huzzah! Here's what happened (kind of):