• Daniel Squizzato

      As a kid, Squizz spent a lot of time playing soccer, writing and getting overly excited about frivolous things. Not much has changed: he still plays (badly), he still writes (having been published in outlets such as Maclean's and The Globe & Mail) and still has plenty of irrational passion (just wait until the next time the men's national team plays against Honduras).

    • Grant Surridge

      Grant has no soccer playing career to speak of, and probably hasn't been following Canadian soccer as long as you have, but he does spend vast amounts of time reading about soccer online. A proud, self-loathing ex-Winnipeger, Grant also supports Chelsea FC. He writes about the Canadian mens' national team, as well as Canada's rivals in Central America and the Caribbean.
    • The Reserve Squad: Women's World Cup to go to "nowhere"

      An internal FIFA memo, obtained by The Reserve Squad, has revealed the destination of the 2015 Women's World Cup, a day before the international governing body is set to make the official announcement.

      After Zimbabwe dropped out of the race on Tuesday, most believed that the sole remaining candidate -- Canada -- was a shoo-in to win the hosting rights. But the super-secret document appears to reveal otherwise.

      "The withdrawal of our good friend, Mr. Mugabe, is quite unfortunate," the unsigned memo reads. "Given the situation we are now presented with, we are left with no choice but to award the 2015 World Cup to nowhere."

      The memo goes on to list a number of issues that appear to have scuttled the Canadian bid.

      "All available information indicates that Canada has a stable democratic governmental system, freedom of the press and equal rights for a wide variety of minority groups.

      "As well, the country appears to have all basic infrastructure and transportation, as well as the political and financial flexibility to construct new facilities in a timely and appropriate manner.

      "Lastly, the game of soccer is played by hundreds of thousands of young girls throughout the country, and the women's national team has enjoyed large measures of success on the international stage.

      "With all of these factors working against the country, it would be unconscionable for FIFA to award the nation a senior World Cup. As a result, it is with regret that we must provisionally announce the cancellation of the 2015 Women's World Cup -- pending any latecomer bids from more suitable hosts, of course."

      When reached for comment, one FIFA official who requested (but was denied) anonymity confirmed the veracity of the memo and shed additional light on the organization's thinking.

      "Awarding the tournament to Canada would send the wrong message," said Joseph Zengbert. "It would dissuade the despots and dictators from applying to host future World Cups, and the executive committee was unanimous in expressing its concern over that.

      "Furthermore, the Canadian government has only committed $15 million to the bid. Split 24 ways... I'm not sure what kind of all-expenses paid trip they think can be bought with that sort of money."

      Zengbert then angrily muttered something about "that prick Declan Hill from Canada" and expressed his concern that political upheaval in north Africa may have destabilized conditions in Zimbabwe and caused that country to withdraw its favoured bid.

      "Couldn't these people just wait four years to demand their 'rights' or whatnot? What's another four years?"

      When asked what the female players -- who now must wait eight years between World Cups -- should do in the absence of a 2015 tournament, the highly-placed FIFA official said: "Make babies, of course."
      Comments 18 Comments
      1. Blackdude's Avatar
        Blackdude -
        Another FIFA official said "Maybe Sepp is right, the women should play in tighter shorts and also with only sports bra. Any boob shown will result in a yellow card for excessive celebration."
      1. Benjamin Massey's Avatar
        Benjamin Massey -
        Is this for serious?!
      1. Unregistered's Avatar
        Unregistered -
        Quote Originally Posted by Blackdude View Post
        Another FIFA official said "Maybe Sepp is right, the women should play in tighter shorts and also with only sports bra. Any boob shown will result in a yellow card for excessive celebration."
        I thought sepp was infavour of a lingerie bowl for the womens.
      1. Unregistered's Avatar
        Unregistered -
        Why do you publish such rubbish?
      1. Unregistered's Avatar
        Unregistered -
        Why they publish such rubbish? Because its easy, stay at home, think of something and write. When was the last time you read anything meaningful on this forum about TFC, CSL etc. All we get is the bare minimum. I find the BC soccer web is more useful.
      1. Unregistered's Avatar
        Unregistered -
        Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
        Why do you publish such rubbish?

        Lighten up!
      1. Unregistered's Avatar
        Unregistered -
        rustcp -
        a slow day? sure am gald MLS starts in two weeks
      1. Unregistered's Avatar
        Unregistered -
        rustcp -
        "glad"
      1. Dennis Laurie's Avatar
        Dennis Laurie -
        As parody of FIFA's attitudes and track record, this is only slightly unbelievable. And that's sad for soccer. Given FIFA's history, and our own, one can't blame some Canadian guys for bringing a dark sense of humour to the wait for FIFA's decision.

        So yeah, unregistered folk, allow yourself to have a chuckle at FIFA's expense - that is this piece's only (and laudable) purpose. One could be forgiven for believing this was an accurate portrayal of FIFA's attitudes.
      1. squizz's Avatar
        squizz -
        Quote Originally Posted by Ben Massey View Post
        Is this for serious?!
        It's remarkable how little things change, ain't it?
      1. Unregistered's Avatar
        Unregistered -
        Wow guys it's just a joke...you know the things that make you laugh but aren't that serious.
      1. jpg75's Avatar
        jpg75 -
        Quote Originally Posted by Ben Massey View Post
        Is this for serious?!
      1. squizz's Avatar
        squizz -
        @jpg75: Ha! Don't worry, Ben gets it.

        But please keep that pic handy for future Reserve Squad posts.
      1. Unregistered's Avatar
        Unregistered -
        Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
        Why they publish such rubbish? Because its easy, stay at home, think of something and write. When was the last time you read anything meaningful on this forum about TFC, CSL etc. All we get is the bare minimum. I find the BC soccer web is more useful.
        You know that BC soccer web is just an aggregation site - in that it just links to stuff? They don't report anything. They link to it.

        Everything on here is original content. Things like breaking the CONCACAF World Cup spots, several TFC signings, being the first group to speak to the new Toronto coach, CSA reform, Alberta reform - the list goes on.

        The reality is this site is the best thing to happen to Canadian soccer in a long time.

        I guess you don't find that useful.

        My guess is it will be another 10 years before Squizz doesn't see 'is this for real?' on here.
      1. Ben Rycroft's Avatar
        Ben Rycroft -
        BC Soccer Web is a great way to sort through the day's info.

        I use them regularly. And I appreciate them linking to us regularly.
      1. chrsfrsn's Avatar
        chrsfrsn -
        Thank you for a good chuckle, squizz. The only problem is that the world cup is actually going to Canada, so unfortunately fifa aren't quite as stupid as you make them out to be. Or fortunately, whichever way you look at it.
      1. squizz's Avatar
        squizz -
        @Unreg 7:04: If it's only another 10 years, I'll consider myself fortunate.
      1. Unregistered's Avatar
        Unregistered -
        FIFA Women’s World Cup 2015™ and FIFA U-20 Women’s World Cup 2014 to Canada; FIFA U-20 World Cup 2013 to Turkey; FIFA U-20 World Cup 2015 to New Zealand; FIFA U-17 World Cup 2013 to the United Arab Emirates; FIFA U-17 World Cup 2015 to Chile; FIFA U-20 Women’s World Cup 2012 to Uzbekistan and FIFA U-17 Women’s World Cup 2014 to Costa... Rica.


        http://www.fifa.com/aboutfifa/federa...d=1392053.html
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